I am in such a similar place right now, at least as far as filling those needs... HOW? How do you even try when you never even got a chance to know what it should look like??? I am thankful that my T has not bailed on me like the previous 10 and he is trying to sludge through this with me. T even lamented about how impersonal the construct of therapy is/has become. His state,ents, which were offered more out into space rather than at me seemed to suggest that he too is struggling to figure out how the h you do this. He shares a LOT about his life and family because it is ALL new and strong to me... and he is discovering that as alien as all of this is his sharing is what is creating awareness... a current move towards healing but it isn’t enough to get me to a place of understanding, feeling, experiencing it... how do you get a client “there” without violating boundaries????
Last week T shared about helping his adult daughter and her family (husband and small child) move... and he could see the total WTF on my face. “But, she has a husband?!?!” And then he looked just as confused. I moved into and out of college on busses and the occasional ride with a friend going in that direction. I moved to grad school, across the country, in a borrowed car... no one in my family has EVER been in “my” home... a place I lived that was not theirs... how the h do I understand him driving 4 hours each way over his weekend to help her move???? Like, you were actually AT her house???
Yeh... how do you “learn” these things in a sterile “relationship”.