I learn how to relate differently by trying to do things differently in my relationships. It's slow, painful, risky and I often make a mess of it. Therapy will give me the seed of something - learning how to accept help, for example - but I am aware of the limits of the relationship. If I didn't have other relationships outside of therapy, I wouldn't know how to try and learn how to experience the things which I missed (or which were taken from me) in my childhood.