Makes sense.

What happened to me was, I went to therapy years ago to try to learn what the source of my difficulties was, I didn't have any/many relationships besides family. I felt socially anxious, messed up and inadequate, probably experienced rejection/disapproval sometimes which I didn't recognize or process as such or know what to do with when it happened -- except numb/ignore but then I felt generally anxious, messed up, etc.

So, I also thought, and was told by the media at the time and the therapists themselves, that therapy would be "safe" relationships, even though many of them weren't. But I continued on with that ideal(fantasy?) despite the contrary indications because, well, of the conditions that I went into therapy with, some of which I listed above.

So, now I'm 73. My kids are grown, still talk to me fortunately (my daughter didn't for 5 years but that's been different for about 3 years). But they are in their 40s, have their own lives, I don't have a lot to contribute to that despite my best efforts. So, I think my best effort now, and the best thing I can do for me AND them, is to try to live my own life -- but, again, there isn't much life from the past and not a whole lot of opportunity that I am able to see right now.

Nevertheless, I detached and left my old life such as it was behind and moved across the country last year. My son and daughter-in-law said that they wanted me here -- they have no other family close -- and my daughter did NOT want me close. And where she lives she has a lot of her husband's family. Because of my lack of much social experience and making new friends I moved just before the coronavirus shutdown into a senior apartment complex. It's independent apartments but they have planned activities, so good opportunities to interact with other people in low-key situations. They were shut down for awhile but are now back up somewhat. So I participate and have some hope of learning new things.

It's hard, with so much grief, for so many things -- of course, my age and just losses generally contributes to that.

But I do think that some better approaches within the "helping professions" are needed if there are still any people coming to therapy with situations like mine was. I feel like lots of my life was "wasted" despite my best efforts. And if the "helping professions" are going to really help, both the people who come to them and the society and community generally, then cases like mine, which have been dismissed and overlooked, need to be looked at more closely. And some different and hopefully better approaches to "helping" need to be developed.