Thanks for sharing this. I don't really know what to tell you about it. I wonder if you've looked into the concept of Childhood Emotional Neglect. Some of what you wrote seemed to me to sound like what I've read regarding CEN. Here are links to 9 articles, from PC's archives, on the subject:

The Face of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN)

Invisible, Powerful Childhood Emotional Neglect

The 2 Types Of Childhood Emotional Neglect: Active and Passive

The Unseen Root of Many Disorders: Childhood Emotional Neglect

7 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...t-angry-empty/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...-of-emptiness/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/child...n-a-full-life/

And then here are links to 2 articles that talk about feeling empty & what to do about it:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/when-y...-what-to-do-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/sext-...eling-nothing/

Best wishes...