So I'm bringing back this thread so I don't spam the board. I "see" pdoc in about 3 weeks. So that means I've been on meds for almost 3 months. I've been watching things on psychosis and it doesn't seem like that's the issue right now because I know I'm wrong in not thinking I'm real but it feels so real. The problem is usually I know when my thinking is off. That doesn't stop me from believing it or having issues because of it. I don't feel I'm my husband's imagination more like I'm an animated doll. I know I'd bleed if I get hurt but I feel it'd be just a cut into more skin or hollow. I know it's because I'm depressed, numb. The video's helped me not feel bad about the things I thought about three weeks ago. I think high levels of financial stress then being left alone and thinking someone was breaking in for 7 hrs thinking someone was drilling into the door for that time kinda did me in. I "see" T Tuesday I'm not looking forward to being honest with her.Has anyone told their T anything like this and not been suggested IP? I don't see my T as squishy which is really good but I don't know pdoc really last time didn't go so well but I know H and M like him. I have my issues wrote down but I don't know if I can vocalize them because it's not a short 2 sentence thing.I want to prove to myself I'm real but honestly even if I tried it wouldn't help. I think I'm fine not feeling real for a couple of weeks. I'm just scared of what my treatment team will suggest.

I keep thinking how the **** do you control this with diet? (my dad told me you can, I know he's wrong, but it's hard) I am eating 1x a day (H is making me I'm not arguing) I just see it as a waste since I'm not real.