
Aug 02, 2020, 04:55 PM
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Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rive.
That's a tough decision. I can relate to the feeling of being dangled on a string of uncertainty, never knowing for sure whether she will turn up that week/day or not. Whereas if you start in Sept, you have the certainty - or higher probability at least, that she may be back.
You said you don't really want to explore other Ts, fair enough. If I were in your shoes, despite the uncertainty (which I hate!) and/or subsequent disappointment if she didn't turn up, I would still keep my appointments with her. Though frankly, I think I would have looked for additional support in the interim i.e. while my T was out.
But that's just me. I guess you could weigh both options and/or which is 'worst' - i.e. would you be able to handle making appointments and having her not turn up vs. have to wait until September (with a higher probability she might be in but then again, with a slight possibility she may not)? Do you need the support right now? Would you be able to get support in case something happened / you needed it? IF you don't really need therapy or if the juggling with 'will she be here? will she not?' is too much, then maybe taking a break would indeed be better... or at least offer (some) peace of mind.
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Thank you, Rive 
After torturing over it for about 48 hours, I'm thinking that canceling August would be more of a way to spite her than to protect myself. I know her, and I truly believe that she has been very unwell or she'd be in her office. Cancelling August would be childish of me...or, I guess, my child-self striking out at her.
So, my plan right now is to keep the August appointments and hope she'll be back during the month. If not, I'll have to live with it and look toward September.
With regard to extra support, I do have my pdoc. I do telehealth with her once per week and she's very helpful with issues I'm having in therapy (meaning when I go whining and complaining to my pdoc about being upset with M., she's supportive and appropriate).
Pdoc works as a therapist with children, so she talks to me like I'm a little kid. It's hilarious. She'll say, "Ohhhh, I knooow how painful it feels when our therapist is not available to us..."
She's as eccentric as heck.
Anyway, I'll see her on Tuesday.
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