My sister gained a lot of weight, and I know this is a problem for her too. With me, she's still the same sister I've always known and I feel the same way about friends of mine who have gained weight. Big deal - it's just more to love. Easier said than done, though, from your end.

I have an illness that is causing my face to become disfigured and ugly. I almost laugh when medical literature calls it a "socio-aesthetic disadvantage" (fancy word for ugly) - I almost laugh. I used to be very pretty, but I never paid much attention to my looks. Still, I never realized all the perks that came with being pretty. It's strange to walk into a room and have people do double-takes or look at me as if I'm a freak. They used to just smile.

I feel the same way as you about friends I haven't seen for a long time. I'd rather they remember me the way I used to look.

You and I both know if they are good friends, it would be rude not to see them - and it would suck to lose a friendship over this. With me, it helps to warn them ahead of time I've become hideously ugly - but I'll have smelling salts on hand in case they faint when they see me.