I am exhausted from very little sleep, stressed and worn out, so I hope this comes out intelligibly.

My husband talked me into adopting a third cat from his family who lives in California. They cruelly kicked out his childhood nanny (during COVID!!!) after 20 years of living with them, who also owned two cats. They split up the two cats, and we took one of them in.

My husband posed the situation to me in such a way so that I couldn't say no or refuse, or else I would look like a coldhearted big B who could care less about the welfare of the poor cat who was getting kicked out. He said to me it's a humanitarian mission to help this poor cat, who is a family cat. The nanny could not take the cats with her because she barely even has a place to live now. She is allowed to stay with her sister for 2 months only. Then she is on her own to figure out housing.

So I said yes, but to my chagrin. I didn't want a THIRD cat in our home. Not at all. But I felt I couldn't refuse, like I said above.

So we took the cat in, and it's been a nightmare. The cat has been howling and hissing at our other two cats (who have remained calm), and kept us up ALL NIGHT long while she cried and howled. We lost a LOT of precious sleep last night.

My husband wanted to give the cat three weeks, and I had to put my foot down and tell him ONE WEEK ONLY. I cannot lose sleep for three weeks straight IF this keeps up every single day and night!!! So I said, we give it one week and then if it doesn't work out, it's your brother's issue to figure out.

To top it off, he had told the nanny that she could stay the first night with us in our apartment EVEN THOUGH DUE TO TRAVEL SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE IN QUARANTINE FOR 14 DAYS. So I had to put my foot down about that too, saying no, she cannot stay here with us for the first night due to COVID and her traveling.

He also wanted to offer to the nanny that she could visit us and her cat once per month for the next year, staying with US once per month overnight.

So I had to also put my foot down about that, too, telling him, sorry, but I need my privacy and I do not want someone whom I don't even know staying with us once every single month!

I'm exasperated right now over all these issues and with him. I am tired of having to put my foot down, and I am tired of him pushing my limits.

He thinks he can make these decisions and offer our place without asking for my input. I need to tell him he MUST include me in every decision that impacts the two of us together.

Things have been great between us otherwise and ever since I brought up divorce. We still need to get a couples counselor, but due to insurance complications, it will be a while.

In the meantime, I am stuck at home with a miserable and unhappy cat. Right now, the cat is quiet and sleeping, and I wonder if I will be dealing with the howling while I am at home during the day.

This is NOT what I wanted. I wish I had had the guts to say no to adopting this cat, but then I would have been the jerk in the equation.

If he hadn't posed it in such a way that I couldn't refuse though, perhaps we wouldn't be in this nightmare.