Thanks TishaBuv for your response and so happy you are no longer estranged - I am sure it is quite a relief!! Hope all continues to go well and as you said keep it light and don't push the envelope and hope you can rebuild your relationship. I have seen references to that book, may have to order it and see what is says.

I think moving forward and trying to focus on himself and his happiness would be the best thing, but his guilt as a parent & thinking he did something to cause this, or trying to figure out if there was something he could have done to prevent this, is where he gets caught up. And the not knowing if this is a result of her mental illness, and the plain just not knowing where she is, if she's ok, how she is doing, especially now with all this craziness going on in the world. I think it would be easier for him if he knew she was happy, healthy and doing well. Even if it didn't include him, but he has no information.

thanks again for your support & encouragement. Hoping I can find more people that are dealing wtih this and find out how they are managing/coping etc.