No, I wasn't referring to having boundaries as always meaning that I am therefore a jerk IF I must set a boundary. With regards to the cat, I would have felt like a huge A-hole to have said no. My husband I believe was a bit manipulative in this situation by posing it in such a way that he knew I wouldn't refuse.

I am aware that one can be loving, yet have boundaries and limits.

And no, of course I do not believe that nice people always have to say yes to everything. I learned in my last job how to say no and how to decline a job responsibility that was beyond my abilities. I also learned how to set limits on my own workload.

I am no longer the extreme people pleaser I used to be, and I can certainly set boundaries.... but I am still learning because I wasn't able to allow myself to feel like the jerk in this particular instance when I really should have, regardless. But his family's opinion of me is important to me. And I caved.