My Support Forums - View Single Post

*Beth* · Aug 03, 2020 at 07:54 PM

That's a surprise

My therapist of many years ago never mentioned anything about a girlfriend or fiancee. I thought he was a confirmed bachelor. Then one day a framed photograph appeared on his desk with a picture of a woman inside. I was definitely taken aback, and asked him who the picture was of. He said, "My fiancee."

So many years later, I can still feel the tight sensation across my shoulders when he told me he was engaged. I must have acted strangely, because he looked kind-of embarrassed and said, "It seems like you might be jealous?"

I said, "Oh, no! I'm happy for you!" -which was foolish, because right there was my opportunity to open up about the intense, absolutely overwhelming transference I had with him. But, I was a lot younger and less outspoken.

There's no "should" about it! (btw, "should" comes between "*****" and "syphilis" in the dictionary.)

You feel how you feel. My own therapist would have told me everything right down to the color theme of her wedding, but they all have their way of handling personal info - and if they're sensitive at all, they might tailor their disclosures to the client in front of them.

It's not as easy if you're doing teletherapy, but if you see her hand and she's wearing a wedding ring, say something about it.