This is a great question, Fuzzybear!

For me I know I have healthy boundaries with someone when I feel like (a) I can express myself and how I'm feeling, including discussing conflict with that person, without feeling like I have to tiptoe around them and (b) like the relationship isn't exhausting me or draining me. I mean, if you think about it, something healthy generally feels good for you; whereas when it's unhealthy, it will feel bad and have a wear/tear on you. To me an unhealthy boundary actually means a lack of a boundary. It seems like when we talk about boundaries that are unhealthy, we are really referring to (often) boundaries we haven't set or don't exist. So I'm not really sure if I think that there are boundaries that are healthy versus unhealthy. In my experience I think it's more likely that there are simply boundaries, which are inherently healthy, and no boundaries, which are inherently unhealthy.