I kept H up all night talking about my issues. I hate being needy, I'm trying really hard not to be but I feel so wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm focusing on keeping myself safe. It's hard. I don't think I can get hurt. Nothing will change this. I feel like giving up and not fighting my thoughts. I need to distract myself. I have to trust my treatment team. I don't want to be hospitalized. I don't think I can take the change in atmosphere right now. H needs a break from me but he says he can't handle things without me here. So I don't know I'm REALLY confused. I need someone to sit me down and be like this is how we're going to get you and your family healthy and thriving.