I had mostly just attended. I had gone to some functions when I had attended a church for a good while. They were alright but never felt connected. It felt superficial. Also, since just attending church and have enrolled in some classes, I didn't feel encouraged that I belonged. I would have wanted to be a member and be on committees if I had felt encouraged.

One time, around 25 years ago, I was going to a Methodist Church. Within the last 30-35 years of my life, it was the best church I went to. I realized it just recently. At one time, when I was unemployed, I went to see the Pastor about it. He offered me a janitorial job that was three hours a week, but be paid cash for it along with my unemployment benefit. It helped. But it was that he cared for me and then others at that church started to follow suit. Oh and by the way, the Pastor was single himself. When I felt that encouragement, I had done the bulletin for the Sunday services and it got better. But then, the Pastor left and the new one was not as good. Things had changed at that church. Attendance declined and then the new Pastor drafted people to join committees. I was drafted into one and it did not go well. So I ended up not going there anymore. After that the church folded.

I know that the last paragraph was pretty long, so sorry about that. After that church, I had attended various ones and stayed with them for a while. And then they went nowhere for me and I felt like I had wasted my time. As I got older, it just got worse.

I had stopped going altogether about a year before the shutdowns. The churches haven't opened up in my area yet, but if they do, then it may be a while before I will go to one again. I prefer to go to a church and feel like I'm a part of it than just to do it alone. I end up feeling worse when I go and don't feel welcomed more so than feeling guilty for not going at all.