Hello fullbundle: I see this is your first post here on PC. Welcome to Psych Central. (By the way, I don't think you'll find a lot of judgement here on PC. That's not what we're about.)

I don't know as there is a lot I can suggest to you in the way of advice. My inclination would be to say that couples therapy may be the answer to all of this. As you wrote, the two of you have been through a lot since you first got together. You mentioned your partner saying he loves you or why else would he still be with you. That, it seems to me, is a good sign. And personally I don't think you should presume that by leaving your partner that would make him happy or help him to find his way back.

Ultimately I think the two of you need to decide, together, whether or not your relationship is one that can endure or if there has simply been too much water that has flowed over the dam, so to speak. And I doubt that's something the two of you may be able to do alone. So perhaps couples therapy (or counseling) would be the place to tackle it?

Here are links to 10 articles, from Psych Central's archives, that talk about relationships & the secrets of happy couples. Perhaps reading about what makes for a successful happy romantic relationship will help you to gauge where your relationship is at & where it can potentially go from here:

How Do You Know that You're with the Right Person?

6 Absolute Must-Haves for Relationship Compatibility

Not Sure If the Relationship Is Working? Answer These 5 Questions

The 10 Secrets of Happy Couples - Part 687

3 Secrets to a Healthy and Happy Relationship

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...happy-couples/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...ouples-part-2/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-...dium=popular17

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-...les-counselor/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/love-...eart-disagree/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.