My mother had a severe mental illness. When she was heading into an episode she would become extremely judgmental and cruel. Is it possible that your mom is depressed? I'm asking because her behavior could be symptomatic of depression or another mental illness.
Whatever the case, I agree with TishaBuv. Stick to safe subjects. Practice at not allowing yourself to get hooked in by your mom. The chance of her changing is extremely slim, so it's up to you to set a boundary by not doing the dance.
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