hi whatsnext20! I hear what you're saying. It's just sad. I'm 63 and on my 2nd marriage. I've lived with someone before that for 10 yrs. This marriage of mine is 8 yrs. and rocky now. Husband has 2 grown boys and one granddaughter who is 4. I really feel for you. You can't have it your way with the husband, being friends for right now. My ex boyfriend and I are friends now. It took years for that. I didn't want any harm come to him. It was emotional for both relationships to end. take care my friend!