In all honesty, I thought I was the one that was "gas lighting". I've been married to a professional stonewaller, and I can't handle being ignored because I was abused and abandoned as a kid. In turn, my reaction to issues that effect me is to address them, and unconsciously, when he outright ignores me, I get enraged, incredibly and nearly uncontrollably emotional. I've tried to tell him that it relates to feeling insignificant, that it makes me feel as if I'm not worth his attention or valuable enough as his wife to address something that is obviously upsetting, and if i disappear in tears, it's like a gift because then I'm gone. He won't come to me. He won't comfort me. So to me, I am abandoned by the one person that should be there, all over again, every time we get into a disagreement.

However, lately he does engage. Even though much of what he says is more condescending than communicating, its interaction to me, which was more than before. He'd say I can't with you when you come at me, and he makes me feel like I can't be tired for being a stay at home mom of 4 kids and a full-time student because of how many hours he works all week...but he doesn't take into consideration at all that his day ends when he gets home, and mine just keeps going, from morning to night, sometimes even through the night, and definitely during the weekends. And don't forget to thank him for making it possible for me to pursue my dreams! Well, it would be nice for him to recognize that my dreams have existed since before I was a mom, and I didn't think I ever would be able to become one. It was BOTH of our decision to make sure our children had me available for everything they needed, because once I knew I could have a child, that was my priority! Why am I being shamed?! Am I wrong? Why am I always wrong? And if I talk to anyone, what I get is, he's just stressed...right...seems completely logical.