
Aug 07, 2020, 06:07 AM
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 10,258
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Have Hope
Your first post labelled your marriage as "bad", saying you don't have the strength to leave. Now you seem to want to justify staying.
How can a parent be a good parent if they're just physically present but detached?
He provided financially, he attended their events that he could, he imparted his wisdom on them that he wanted to which was not all good, he wasn’t mean, we had many good times while away or out or sometimes at home together. IDK if the kids resent his lack of presence. Right now it’s an “Okay Boomer” conflict with them and him, but that’s probably most all families. He was an interesting role model in that he had an important job but he hated and complained about it. He’s Also a media addict and so are the kids as we allowed it too much.
Physical presence does not make a good parent. Involved, attentive, caring, loving and giving makes a good parent. That's also what makes a good spouse, which he is not.
We gravitate to what we know. I did not have a parent like that.
I'm sorry, Tisha. It seems like a bad marriage and an abusive marriage, but you don't want to leave or you don't have the strength to leave. Emotional and sexual neglect is real, as is gaslighting.
Thanks, this is true.
You keep blaming your own mental health issues. I think it's your mental health issues that are keeping you stuck and unable to leave an abusive and toxic marriage.
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So why is the therapist encouraging me to work through it and stay together with him? He is seeing both of us together and separate?
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"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!"
. About Me--T
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