Hi my name is Turiya, I'm almost 60 and for the first time have received a diagnosis of BiPolar 2. It's accurate, according to a long history of patterns I've identified.

For most of my life I've been misdiagnosed with Major Depression. As such my treatments were rarely effective over the long haul. I take responsibility for obscuring certain variables to all the clinicians I've seen over the past 30 years.
As usual, I screwed myself.

I'm happy to have found this group. Presently I'm feeling exceedingly demoralized. It's a vicious diagnosis. I'm grieving the loss of some ideals I've held regarding what was possible for me in this life. I'm sure its possible (tho not probable) I'll be one of the lucky few that gets their medication down right quickly. I might be able to turn things around and salvage my job. But at my age it's fair to say I'll never be able to handle a high stress job (my chosen career path), probably will never be able to compete at a high enough level to earn real income, and probably won't ever have the family I always wanted.

I feel like I'm not capable of producing at a high level anymore, and things are looking pretty grim. **** it, the only thing to do is surrender to the reality of what IS. I guess it's about time. Too little, too late.

Hoping I can make some meaningful connections in this group while I learn what I need to learn to optimize my capacity in spite of things. Thank you.