I have had a similar awakening, and it is very disturbing to me, not least because my husband is dead now and has been for five years so I couldn’t even confront him if I wanted to. I came to the conclusion last night. I have been awake for 24 hours because I am so overwhelmed.

As for sexual abuse, I too questioned it and am still questioning it. Often I would be guilted into sex. I told myself I was just “annoyed” and it was easier to give in to “get him off my back”, but....I’m thinking now that it should t have happened at all. Look up sexual coercion. That accurately describes what I went through.

I just wanted to say I’m with you.