So today we had kind of a dull session and talked about some of my worries about the financial settlement. It is nervewracking. I asked T a communications question about how to respond in the negotiations if my H says "no" to a proposal I might make. I can't even remember what he said, but I didn't feel his answer was helpful. I still don't know how to respond. I interpret "no" to mean end of story, no further discussion allowed, but I guess that's not how it works. [/clueless]

Towards the end of the session when I wrote T 3 checks for various services, I noticed they totalled to exactly $XXXX and I made a surprised comment about that. T was also a bit taken aback (I've never paid him so much at once). Then he said, "you know if you need to save some money, we could always...." I wondered what he was going to say. Would he suggest I pay him a lower rate? Or that he curtail some of his coach duties? Or what? But what he actually said, was "we could always meet less frequently, things seem to have calmed down, you could skip a week here and there." Sheesh, this wasn't what I wanted to hear. Yeah, things were kind of calm today, but I really like seeing him each week. I find it very helpful, it can totally turn my mood around and provides me with so much support during this challenging time. So then he got his calendar and asked me when I wanted to make my next appointment (we don't have a standing appt, I make them one at a time at the end of session each week). He waited expectantly to see if I would skip a week or not. I told him I found coming to see him each week really helpful so I would like to see him again next week. He smiled and said, "I'm glad this is so helpful for you" and we made the appointment. So that wasn't so hard. I had wanted to feel rejected when he first suggested I could save money by not seeing him so frequently, but he really wasn't rejecting me, just making a suggestion. He let me make the appointment at a frequency in line with my needs. I felt pretty grown-up to be able to do that without getting bent out of shape or becoming depressed. In the past, I might have lessened the frequency of sessions at his suggestion, thinking that was what he wanted me to do. But today I was able to listen to my own needs and act upon them. That may seem small, but it is very big to me. A year ago I couldn't have done that.

So the session was kind of calm, kind of dull, but I did get a hug at the end, and that's always nice.