Got triggered again yesterday. My wife told me that she posted a cry for help on fb, something like, "feeling down blah blah" and this guy who is a single dad responded by calling her on her phone. She set up a playdate for his son and our son and planned on dropping him off at his house after work.

She gave some bs reason why they have eachothers' numbers. She invited his son to our son's birthday a couple years ago but said she contacted him through fb because she didn't have his number. Now all of a sudden she has it mysteriously even though they've never met up playdate or otherwise to my knowledge.

I know that to most people this is a benign interaction, but if you've read this thread you know how sensitive I am to her interactions with singles. She also knows that I like to keep playdate contacts same-sex. So like, if the kid's mom wants to make a playdate, I give them my wife's number and vice versa.

Ironically our daughter had a playdate in the works the same day from a friend who couldn't make it to her birthday party. I gave my wife the mom's number as I always do. She told me that I don't need to do that because she trusts me. She said I know you like to keep parents numbers to the same sex but it's no big deal to her.

Again, it all sounds great to the average person but I am very sensitive because of my past. She seems to know this but just doesn't care. I had to blank out so I didn't react while she is telling me this playdate story. I then had to excuse myself to the restroom and spent 20 minutes in there calming myself down because if she finds out that I am upset she yells at me.

I am dreading this "playdate" because my imagination runs wild if I know she is going to be alone with a single guy at his house even if it's just for a minute to drop our son off. I'm starting to become cynical and wonder what it would be like to be a cheater. I've never come close to cheating on anyone but only because I am horrified by how it feels to be on the other side of it. I've never had to stop flirting with someone because I feel like it's going too far. If I'm attracted to someone or can sense they are attracted to me I always try to cut interactions off immediately.

I feel awful and trapped and I feel like the only one who understands is my therapist. She probably is just patronizing and thinks I'm crazy just like everyone else. I hate this awful feeling.