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Relationships. Connections I have with all the people in my life. I think of how it would darken their worlds if I took myself out. Many of them have worked hard to help me be stable; what a cruel action it would be to take, when they've put so much into my well-being.
Even relationships on a forum, those count, too. I was on a forum years ago and had had some wonderful conversations with one of the members. He was struggling with suicidal thoughts, and he did end up killing himself. To this day I grieve when I remember that person. his suicide left a dark place in my life.
My children are doing wonderfully well with their lives and I sure don't want to mess that up for them.
And last, but in a way, first...my cats. They give only love and care. They don't know of anything else. I love them so much and treat them gently and kindly. What would happen to them if I wasn't around for them? The thought is so upsetting to me that I know I'd do anything to keep us together, and as safe as possible.
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