You ever feel sometimes that things are too good?

I have a good job. I’m studying successfully. I have a balanced mental state. Everything is going good despite there being a pandemic going on.

Inside my mind it wants to push a reset button. Wants me to go off my meds and go crazy. Be delusional and starving myself and washing my hands obsessively worried that if I don’t something bad will happen.

I don’t want that. By mind drifts to it. Wants the chaos. I wish these thoughts would just go away.