For one, you're not responsible for anyone else's happiness except for your own. Every person is responsible for their own happiness. So I would try to stop pleasing everyone else and please yourself foremost. Secondly, you don't need approval to make life decisions. You are a grown adult and can make decisions for yourself. I suggest stop asking everyone else for approval on your own life. Take control yourself by not asking for approval or input anymore. Decide for yourself and involve your boyfriend if the decision involves him. Thirdly, to be blunt, you're too old to be blaming your own inability to plan and take control of your life on your family and on being the youngest. You are not a teenager. You're an adult in your 30's. YOU get to decide the direction of your life. YOU get to make decisions and choices. So, take life by the horns and start taking control of your life yourself. That's a part of being an adult and a part of growing up. As grown adults, we all have to take full responsibility for our lives, in every way.

If you start making these changes for yourself, positive things will result.

I don't have enough information on your relationship to provide that much advice. What troubles are you having with him specifically? Has he expressed doubts? If you are fighting more since moving in together, what does that tell you? Either there's an adjustment period between you and you have to work it out together and stop fighting, or it points to an incompatibility. Without more information, it's hard to tell.