Yes, thanks @lizardlady ...

MetLife cancelled my disability claim with them and I will have to reapply in September.

I think I understand the reason(s) behind it, but am not feeling very confident it will be approved.

In the meantime, my application for social security disability is in progress.

My doctor(s) keep encouraging me to have surgery, but - I. JUST. CANNOT. GO. THERE.

This has to do with long-term trauma, triggers and dissociation.

If I refuse the surgery then social security can, and most likely will, deny my claim with them as well.

The disability process already seems to be over before it's even gotten started!

Feeling totally defeated and utterly alone ...