I envy couples, and happily married people. My daughter's dad and I would have been married 20 years. I feel like i really messed up. I didn't have all the kids i wanted. I didn't have the happy marriage. I feel so lost in life.

I just feel like I'll never really be happy. Superficially i am happy. But it's too late to live the life I wanted. The family life. I'm just a miserable person.