I also worry a lot that it will never get better. I'm still young as well and I have a lot of plans and things I want to do that I've had to postpone (indefinitely) because of this illness. I try to push through and do all these things the best I can, but it's extremely frustrating, and some things I just can't do at all for safety reasons. It makes me feel like I can't be who I am, and I may never be myself again. It makes me feel like a sort of hollowed-out "ghost."

Whenever I bring this up with a therapist or Pdoc, usually they just try to reassure me by saying that BD is very treatable, you just need the right meds, you can go into remission, etc. I find it hard to really believe that. I certainly haven't found the "wonder drug" for me yet.