More filth has come up. I don't know what to do with it. I need to tell my parents, but I'm afraid of their reaction. How they acted, I learned that emotions have to be hidden. Even know I'm hiding from the world. Because this is so huge. All of my anxiety is from hiding my emotions!!!! That caused sui thoughts, an addiction, and countless hospitalizations, and 15+ years of pain. I don't want to hide anymore. I can't. I'm angry, hurt, and frustrated that I never had that growing up. When I moved from family, I lost my support system away from my family. I live with my parents, and now I really need to move out. I can't be in this environment anymore. Unless I have a conversation that has more than just me speaking.