I think all (or at least most of us) go through periods such as this from time to time. I know I certainly do. Sometimes when I feel I simply have nothing to offer, & no energy to offer anything even if I had something, I'll resort to replying to threads in the Games forum. But then there are also times when even that seems overwhelming. So then I just disappear entirely for a while.

I can definitely relate to your statement about wanting to disappear from everything forever. Our Schnoodle passed away a couple of weeks ago. But back when he was still with us & healthy I sometimes used to have occasion to take him for a walk in the dark during the late evening. And as we would be walking along it wouldn't have been unusual for the thought to occur to me: I wish I could simply walk off into the night never to be seen or heard from again. Sometimes it still does.

I hope you begin feeling better soon.