Ok, that makes me feel slightly better. I do see a little bit that she doesn't really care about this guy except for what he is doing for her, like nothing about his personal attributes. It just stinks that I have to go to outside help for validation of my feelings. Basically from what you are saying, she will never be able to validate me because that would require her to admit that she is being selfish. She would have to say, "I'm sorry my interactions with single men trigger your insecurities, but rest assured I am only using them to feel better about myself. I don't care about them at all." Even then she would be admitting that nothing I say will ever be enough to make her feel good about herself.

I don't even care that she acts selfishly away from me. Do whatever you want, it's your reputation not mine. If you want to be selfish around your family, girlfriends, kids, job, etc. go right ahead. It just hurts that she can't limit herself from one group (single men) even though I've told her how much it means to me. It's literally the one thing I ask. I'm a pretty strong guy. I work hard, I raised kids almost by myself, cook, clean, handle finances, take care of myself. I'm not jealous of anything else, her girlfriends, family friends, attention from kids, her alone time, etc. Just makes me sad.