Hi Katt --

I'm so sorry that you are feeling lonely and depressed. Sometimes, a saying of the Buddha that I was taught in therapy gives me perspective:

All of life is suffering. It's only when we understand that, that we can start to be happy.

All things change, decay, pass away. Break down. It's sad, it gets to me. Even when two people stay together for a lifetime, one will predecease the other, and sadness ensues.

I'm not trying to belittle your suffering, Katt. To love is to make ourselves vulnerable. And that can bring both joy and pain. Pain is the price we pay for the joy. If there is anything that the capitalist system teaches us, it's that everything has a price and there's no free lunch.

I'm so sorry that you are in the pain part right now. Hope you can hang onto to the joy, too.
((((((((((((((((((((((((Katt))))))))))))))))))))))