Yeah I thought of smoking weed yesterday but I've learned from past experiences that that's a bad idea.. So I didn't..


It just takes a while for me to learn. I have low dose mush capsules but I'm gonna wait until my depersonalization/derealization is gone and I've learned more about meditation/spirituality - This may be a year or two.


I'm incredibly honest to everyone in my life about these things. Ketamine nasal spray would be good because it worked in January - March of last year.


Idk how good I was doing last year but it was better than this year. I was having psychosis when I lowered the Invega Sustenna injection to 4 weeks but it's back to every 3 weeks now again.


So far my meds are keeping me stable and I'm very cautious about what I do now (Because of the bad trip making me fear death so much - I hallucinated a skull and crossbones, maggots, scorpions, spiders, etc).


So far so good. Eventually I'll move to the west coast of Canada and can have a nice environment and be able to go to school.


I told my doctor about ketamine and he said that one guy in town gets infusions but he wants to check with my psychiatrist to make sure that it's a good idea. I can't get a hold of my psychiatrist but will try to again this week. Ketamine doesn't harm me because it's just a dissociative but psychedelics do.