No, it's not your fault. These are issues that your wife owns. She may stir up feelings of insecurity in you, but it's because she is repeatedly seeking attention very inappropriately from single men. That is not acceptable behavior within a marriage (in my opinion). It's clear that she has trouble feeling good about herself since she needs external validation from all these different men. She needs to work on her own self esteem issues. She also needs to learn how to communicate in far healthier ways within the relationship, without needing to rant and yell for days on end. She has a lot of anger that needs to be resolved, in her own therapy. She has a lot of work to do internally and on herself, if this marriage is to survive.

I would think also from your own shoes: do YOU want to continue dealing with her unhealthy and toxic behaviors that are wearing down your own self esteem, self worth, and ability to feel happy and stable within the relationship?

The marriage will destruct at some point if these issues cannot be resolved, unfortunately. You may reach a breaking point. Don't hold on for the sake of keeping a marriage together. You've got to also think of your own mental health and your happiness.

But most importantly right now, your wife needs a lot of help to change her ways and to feel better about herself all on her own. And remember, it's not your job to make her feel good about herself. It's HER job. She needs to accomplish this all on her own.

Hugs to you. I feel for you right now.

I hope therapy is helpful to you today.