Nobody is making a mountain out of molehills. I think people are coming from a genuine place of concern and experience. Your words are classic things addicts say to justify using.

One of the main symptoms you show here is psychosis. Marijuana exacerbates that in a number of ways. If you research how it works you will see it stimulates many of the neurotransmitters that have been shown to be overactive in people with psychosis. So on the regular you are pumping in a chemical that directly works to make the job of the antipsychotics you take harder. It stimulates your memory centers, your processing centers, your spiritual centers, your motor function centers, your emotional centers, your visual center, your auditory center and more. Using and then trying to counteract what is already imnalanced without drugs with prescriptions makes zero sense.... And yes, I am aware of the benefits of cbd. However, you're ingesting thc and cbd and mixing it with various other chemicals. The amounts cannot be vontrolled. How do you expect to find stability that way?

Also, you're on an anticonvulsant. Marijuana has been shown to cause seizure like activity in the brain. Tegretol would have a better chance of working if your neurons weren't lighting up like christmas trees.

Same thing for the Seroquel... And the propranol. They treat issues that are also side effects of prolonged marijuana use. There's a difference between how it feels when you smoke and what it is doing to your mind holistically over the course of time.

Just because your team did not make it the most pressing issue to focus on with you does not mean your drug use is not impactful. They often have to start with the most pressing need and go from there. Why not help yourself and do the work to make their job easier?

You spend a lot of time in IP and in IOP. Do you want to lessen that at some point? I feel like a no brainer strategy would be to drop the drugs and alcohol of you use that and make so that the meds have an easier time of working.

You casually mention suicide by overdose. Your family's perspective is very skewed. Your position on it is a huge red flag. NA or no NA, the drug use is a problem. Choosing to do something about it would be a powerful and wise move.

I respect your right to choose for yourself. You're a smart lady. I just see a lot of arguments that do not make sense. I hope this isn't offensive. I genuinely like you, so please know my only hope is to offer perspective.