The positive in what you shared is that you are beginning to recognize some things about this relationship that is not healthy for you. The truth Disney is that people will use you if you let them. There are times when a person doesn't care and that never means you deserve to have that kind of person in your life. The truth is, that your feeling like you are setting yourself up to be hurt means that you are starting to give another person more power over you than you should. If you are allowing another person to tell you your worth, that is giving that other person too much power. Abandonment happens when allowing another person to dictate our worth and often it's a person who really doesn't deserve to have that kind of power to begin with.