I'm going back and forth between super healthy and super unhealthy habits rapidly. Like woke up screaming, crying, punching walls and wanted to do dangerous things that almost caused my cousin's death, but decided against it because I have to drive later today and the nurse would probably call for a wellness check because I've never missed an injection. Got myself into the shower and when I got out it was some sort of metamorphasis (again) and suddenly I was thinking "I'm gonna put on pants!" and "I'm going to do yoga!" and such.

My whole arm is tremory. It started at some point yesterday. Yesterday was an unhealthy day. I was sober for about a total of 3 hours between when I woke up at 3am and whenever I went to bed. That's probably why my arm is f'ked up. I don't care if I sound like an addict I'm waiting until I'm out of oxy until I stop. I'm almost out anyways. Thought about snorting it so I'd actually feel something. Not going to stop the weed.

Maybe pick up some paint today? I kinda want to paint a spider web on one of the walls in my bedroom. Also want to get tatted.

Edit: Tremor stopped after I got my injection, so I guess my rx is doing more harm than my substance abuse. Taper off the risperdal and do more drugs, got it! (bad joke, I know)