I'm sorry it took me so long to reply I'm having trouble reading. and concentrating.

Eating and nutritionist has always been hard for me but I am working on it. I do need to exercise more. I use to spend my summer in the pool and I haven't swam in 6+ years. spiritual practices are not my thing but I can try meditation again. I am generally active but I get tired of distracting myself from my issues. I'm not a reader but I do watch everything on youtube about BP/SzA/SZ. I really have to get better at self care, I don't have anything I enjoy besides coloring but I need to learn to draw and I'm dreading it. I have to go back to the 6 hours of productive things a day. I'll try pulling it all together.

I'm the sane one of the family. I can't burden them with my issues. They have their own problems. I'm not honest with them and honestly they're not safe to be honest with. My dad thinks diet can control any medical issues and my mom who ... well she's mom.

I don't try to with hold it just doesn't occur to me that it's weird. Everyone IRL says I have good insight. The only one who was aware of my mess was old T because I wrote down everything unedited for her. There was only one time I didn't say something to her because I knew I was unsafe. Most of the time I feel like I am safe, and I should be trusted. I do say things after they pass if it something that could have lead to IP. I need to stop that. I loose sight that getting better is the goal,

I don't know if this has any cohesion. I'm sorry if it does not.