Pouring rain out. Will be nice for sleep. I took a walk around the block in my pj's and had to change into new ones.

Hopefully things will be better tomorrow. I got to realize my triggers that cause dissociative panic.

I see my doctor on Thursday. Hopefully he can prescribe some benzos because I'm not sure if my Xanax (Alprazolam) is even real alprazolam.. It could be fake.. Like flualprazolam or something..

I'm going to be honest about everything and hopefully he understands and sorts me out so I don't have a panic attack EVERY NIGHT... My panic attacks are the worst of the worst.. But I've kind of got used to them now.. I just freak out telling everyone "I don't know what to do, where to go" and people say "What do you want to do?" and I say "I don't know.."

It's horrible. But I'll try and get some sleep on 3.5mg of alprazolam and 1mg of lorazepam..