Human
Member Since Apr 2014
Location: Home
Posts: 8,346
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Aug 12, 2020 at 05:51 AM
I had jobs like that in the past, where I felt like I couldn't be myself, even without sharing personal information, just couldn't even have my own personality.
But I don't buy into that any longer. I do avoid sharing personal information at work, but I am always myself and won't play a part for anyone. I have learned to be confident in who I am, and also comfortable that who I am can be different than who someone else is, and not let others let me feel shame or discomfort or unconfident for it. Definitely, if your personality is out of sync with the company's culture, it can always feel like you're putting on a show. I think, often for those of us with trauma histories, that being ourselves is risky or scary, because it makes us vulnerable. We lack confidence or self-esteem to stand up for who we are, despite the company culture. Just speculating based on my own experience.
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly?
Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.
Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien
Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...
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