Still having anxiety and almost had another panic attack. I’m sure this all was triggered by my dad’s cousin broke into our house a few days ago. All the doors were locked (because my mom and aunt were away) and he got in using a small door in the backyard. This door is hidden, no one would normally notice. I just woke up and went downstairs when I saw him there. He saw me and was coming closer to shake my hand, he wasn’t wearing a mask and I knew this guy goes to the public places a lot, so I backed off and said “Stay there”. It felt like someone just put a gun on a my head. Not an exaggeration. I felt like my life was in danger. This guy is also mentally unstable. God knows what he could’ve done. He freaked my grandma out because he just came in and took food and just ate there without asking our permission first.

I pity this guy because his family kicked him out due to his inability to meet the family’s standard. My dad’s family have money and power. Most of them are politicians, lawyers, or doctors who got educated in Sorbonne, Oxford, or Harvard, but they are heartless and like to abandon children if they are “unsuccessful”. They like to have this black sheep of the family who they can bully together. This guy and my dad were one of the black sheep. It’s sickening. I’m so proud of my mom for door slamming that family. We might not have the kind of money or power that they have but she raised me and my sister to care about others. Me and my sister are also very loyal to each other unlike my dad’s siblings. But yeah even though I pity him it doesn’t make it acceptable that he broke in like that. He could have called us instead if he needs help and we would help. But then again he’s mentally unstable. My mom called him after that told him to never break in again. I told my mom to just lock the backyard’s door.

Sorry for the long post, just need to get things off my chest. I have so many emotions now I’m struggling to manage them.