RS was very upset today and I finally got him to talk after much coaxing. He’s just feeling disappointed with some things involving work and finances. I was afraid it was me. I kinda told him just a little bit about why I’ve been so upset and unable to sleep, but I still feel quite embarrassed and ashamed. But I watched an episode of 600 lb life that kinda put things in perspective. I really just need to repeat to myself “it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t my fault” until I believe it. Hard, but doable, I think.

I’ve been increasingly hungry and wanting to snack. I believe it’s hormones. I still am on track to settle at a one pound loss, which is good.

I am still thinking about SI and SH A LOT. I really, really wish I could SH. I’m thinking of maybe going to get an ear piercing I’ve always wanted. Just to take my mind off things and kind of do something for myself. I’ve taken out most of my piercing because they are not professional. I’ve even taken out my gushes as I keep losing plugs and having to replace them. I was sick of it. But I could def get away with a non obvious not traditional piercing In my ear. I have to give up my blue hair when the summer ends.