Well, I was very drunk. Actually I don’t quite remember getting into the situation of actually having sex with him. I know we got into it and when I knew it was going to happen I said we needed a condom because i Didn’t want to be unsafe. But I feel I had a bit of a blackout sort of and don’t clearly remember the whole day and the next day, when I saw how much vodka I had consumed I couldn’t believe it and I felt so sick all day I couldn’t function. He barely drank all day because he Really doesn’t drink. He drank like half of this can of vodka seltzer we got when we bought the small bottle of vodka and I drank my vodka seltzer, the rest of his and half that little bottle of vodka plus some sake at the restaurant. Plus I had taken Xanax earlier because i was having anxiety so that was a mistake to mix that. I know that but I was having such bad anxiety being out around people due to my agoraphobia and social anxiety. I should have just taken an Uber home and not had any alcohol. Wish I had and this never would have happened. He had to have known i was way too drunk to really make good decisions. I blame myself for sure and feel guilt but also feel upset at him for kind of pushing the sex after I had said several times that day I couldn’t do it. He has an open relationship with his partner by the way. I do not.