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sunrise said:
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Edahn said:
That's not something within the realm of psychology.
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I guess you have a limited view. It is communication. My therapist is a family counselor and is an expert at helping people learn to communicate better. It is well within the realm of psychotherapy. I hope to revisit this topic with him next time. He has really taught me so much about communication, but I have so much more to learn.
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Fair enough.
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Edahn wrote:
if you're looking for a bright line, you're not going to find it
</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I'm not looking for a bright line. I'm sincerely interested in better communication, not a flippant comeback. How would that help things? Seems to me it would be counterproductive. I'm looking for a way to move negotiations forward when one party says "no." I have difficulty hearing "no" and continuing to engage due to my rejection issues and fear of my husband. (I tend to just give up and withdraw and let him "win".) Therapists can help with this sort of thing.
Edahn, I am taking some courses in non-violent communication and hope to learn more there about possible ways to respond when the answer is "no." I'll report back on what I learn as I progress. If you are interested in the non-violent communication method, you can learn more here:
http://www.cnvc.org
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Here's an idea: be honest and upfront and put the ball in his court. Just say something like: I'm interested in settling and talking. I know there're a lot of other issues floating around that makes open communication difficult, but it's something I think we'll both be appreciative for later on. I've made a proposal, you've said no. I would like to continue some dialogue, but I can't if all you offer me is a one-word response. If you're not interested in negotiating and I'm just wasting my time, please let me know. If you're interested in resolving this, then it's time to start talking, punk.
(you could always leave "punk" out)