It’s easy to see how you were vulnerable to this guy and got into this situation.

You had a history of this kind of relationship with him, he tells you that he loves you but..., you arranged to let him stay over when your bf was away, and your bf was okay with it knowing your history with him.

I agree with Open Eyes that this guy knew you had a history of infidelity with him, as he cheated with you on someone else and thought you’d do the same. I wonder why he removed the condom. Is he trying to sabotage your relationship with your bf, who you want to marry, ending your FWB with him? Is he one of those ‘doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you’ guys?

I doubt many bfs would have been okay with a guy you used to have sex with staying over while they were away, if at all, or even you seeing them at all. I may be overly assuming here, IDK. Not that your bf shouldn’t have trust as he did, but the ex seems like such an invasion on his territory and not a good idea for him to have been so okay with IMHO. I can’t imagine either my h or me saying ‘sure, this person you have had sex with can stay over while I’m away’... call me old fashioned.

I’m sorry it was a traumatic experience for you. This guy is really not your friend, and I’m sure you now know it. I think talking with the therapist is the safest way for you to deal with this. I worry that even telling a friend can come back to bite you, should you choose to not tell your bf. I hope this guy does’t make trouble for you when you don’t ever want to see or speak to him again. I think there’s no need for confrontation with him, just blow him off. He’s not healthy for you, obviously, use self care and focus on your present relationship.