I want to add to my prior post.

@Lily11, I think the lesson here is that he cannot be trusted. You trusted that he would respect your boundaries around sex when you asked him to stay over and told him that no sex was going to occur. But it was a risk nonetheless to have a FWB man stay overnight when your boyfriend was out of town. It's a set up for potential sex to occur -- for men, sometimes it doesn't matter what we say, and it's our actions that open a door for them. You also chose to drink far too much alcohol, which is taking another big risk and which can cause poor judgement I am not blaming you for what occurred, I am simply pointing out your role in all of this. It was a risk to have him stay overnight given the history and it was riskier to drink too much alcohol with someone with whom you have a sexual history. Being alone together in the apartment while drunk and while your boyfriend was away was a recipe for disaster. He did take full advantage of you and was sleazy in my opinion, but you also played a role in this too. We all have to be accountable for our own role and part in things that go wrong. You did ask him to put on a condom, so you were aware that sex was going to occur and wanted to take precautions. So you were not so drunk that you couldn't speak or know on some level what was going to happen. I stand by my stance that it was not sexual assault. Had you been so inebriated that you could not speak, or if you were practically passed out and he made advances on you, then I could see that it may be called assault. People are going overboard by saying it's assault. You did cheat on your partner, and there has to be some amount of accountability. People may disagree with me, but to place ALL the responsibility on him is wrong.

It is very unfortunate how it all unfolded, but like all lessons in life, something valuable can be learned here. And bottom line: he is not to be trusted.