The problem is, that's not all it is. It's just that I have severe emotional problems right now. If I felt mentally normal, I would just start a course on Coursera or something. It worries me that I cannot just do something like that. It seems like way too much. And then I want to go back to grad school, which is a crazy idea because that's way more than I can handle right now. I don't know. I may need more care than I'm getting right now. It seems like I do.