Angela, sorry this has been such a rough time. No one knows when life and death meet but we must know how to live. It is important to not leave things unsaid and to appreciate that death is a part of life. I am going to say something really strange here, especially for a young woman of your age to hear. I have been comforted by the thought of loved ones bodies decomposing and returning to the earth. It is a body. Our culture makes air tight vaults and 50 year guarantes on caskets and leakage. How silly. You friend Jon came from the earth, from the great spirit and we each have our paths in life. He needs to go back to the earth and act as a silent guide to you in your life. Near death stuff is really hard but try to change it your mind that all of us are near death. It is but a light switch. It is a part of life. Leave nothing unsaid and love strongly. It is our love and actions that count in the long run. Try not to be frightened. Be at peace with the knowing that death happens. Please tell your mom how you feel and know that Jon is safely burried and his body is doing what nature intends. His spirit will always be with you.