I don't have anyone to talk to...especially not about anything going on in my head. That's the one place I'm safest. I used to have a blog about what was going on, and then my parents created a fake name and secretly spied on me...that's when I had my first break down. I'm sure you can see why it's a little hard for me to find someone to tell...

I can't tell friends.
I certainly can't tell family.

What I need is someone outside my world, like a therapist of some sort, so that I can just let everything out. I'm basically ready to pop....but when I pop, so goes my world and everything I built into it. friends will certainly be gone, family will either hate me or kick me out....

I'm waging a war in my head these past months...Ironically I'm losing.

Things have gotten really bad lately...I guess just because I'm 21 now and I'm supposed to be this well educated, well brought up young man, but in fact I'm the complete opposite. I'll spare you all what I think of myself. I'm just afraid to start over, because I know it's going to ruin everything.